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Hi there. I don’t want to go to school too, I see that this post is already 4 years old so I wouldn’t know if ur still in school or not. I am in a “worse” situation than u, depending on how u look at it, I don’t have any friends, no one ever talks to me, I am ostracized but I have already got used to it. I hate school and I don’t have the motivation to go to school too, and I’m sure many students hate school too. But as much as I hate school I’m forced to go literally because school is compulsory. So when something is compulsory, we just have to make the best out of it. I’m in college, and we are allowed to use laptops and phones in classes, sometimes I read manga in classes (when I feel like shit) to make me feel better. And I game during break times too. This makes school more tolerable for me as I am a loner. Also to motivate me to go to school, I tell myself everyday when I finish school I will buy myself things that I like, such as snacks, drinks etc. You can try to reward yourself everytime u go to school, it doesn’t have to be monetary items, it can be other things too of course. Also I do my homework while in class (while the teacher is teaching) to be able to play all day at home, I have learning resources so it’s ok for me. What I’m saying is that since we don’t like school and school takes like 8 hours of our time, we leave our schoolwork to those 8 hours and don’t let them take out our precious time at home. I hope this helps anyone reading this. 🙂
To add on, school is the main cause of my depression and stress. It is nearly impossible for me to make friends and the “friend group” I’m in now I don’t suit well in. I want to leave but then I realize I have no one else to go to. And especially now since I am having problems with my “best friend” and she doesn’t want to talk it through. I am honestly considering just getting home schooled. But then I will miss out on so many experiences; so pretty much I’m just stuck in a never ending loophole of stress, depression, and anxiety. HELP ME.
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Depression is my best friend now, at least we have 26 years relationship experience as partners in crime.
I am a chronic depression patient and what you feel is what I have always felt since I was 8 years old.
The first advice I will give you is that you should not feel you’re alone in this. When you know you’re not alone in this then you will be comfortable with yourself and not think something is wrong with you
Do not be deceived by the social media hype of happy faces online because behind many of those smiling faces lie depressed people who are adept at stage managing.
It is easier to go through Facebook and see your friends happy, doing a great job and having it all, then you begin to wonder “Is something wrong with me, why can’t I be motivated to do something about my life?” Do not feel this way because I repeat you’re not the only one who is depressed.
Your Question is what can you do about this?
Before I answer that let me tell you 15 things you shouldn’t do.(I’m 34 and I’ve battled depression since I was 8 years old ,these were the wrong moves I made thinking I could stop it)
- Do not use alcohol or hard drug or coffee as an escape route out of depression because you will only feel worse after the high is over. I did weed, and all drinks in the past to end depression but it ended up almost ruining my whole life.
- Do not attempt suicide just to end depression. As the late Robin Williams said “ Suicide is a permanent cure for a temporary problem “ Like I mentioned above do not think you’re alone in this, remember Robin Williams was a comedian who made people laugh but he ended up committing suicide because his drugs intake couldn’t help his depression anymore. I attempted suicide 4 times and I ended up on hospital beds for months , still that didn’t cure my depression.
- Do not have sex to end depression. I have tried it all from binge masturbation to sex just to end depression, but after the hours of action beneath the sheet I feel worse off and end up thinking I should just end it all. When I newly got married I nearly killed my wife with sex because I needed to cure my depression , however I do turn out feeling emptier afterwards,which made me resent her for not being my solution. Now I know better.
- Do not fall in Love just to escape depression. I have fallen in and out of love with over 150 women just to leave depression behind , however it didn’t work because one person I didn’t love was me first. So I ended up making my toxins to affect every love affair I found myself in.
- Do not blame anyone for your depression not even yourself. The blame game leaves a depressed person feeling drained of power and ability to do something about his or her condition. It is like digging a hole and pouring the sand on yourself as you dig on, it leads nowhere.
- Do not go on impulsive buying because of depression . I know how it feels like to say to myself “ Get this product and be happy forever” Two weeks later I feel worse off because I bought what I didn’t actually need and because I feel ripped off due to the fact I am an ad copy writer who got trapped by my own game that another ad creative used to influence me on how a product/service is supposed to make me happy forever.
- Do not think beyond now. One of the worst things a depressed person can do is to think about the future when depressed. Do not think about your future when you are depressed because it will definitely look bleak.Which will lead to suicidal tendency. So instead of thinking about the future, you just stay in the moment and savour it while knowing that tomorrow will take care of itself.
- Do not mind those who tell you to think about others and not be selfish. One of the counter productive advice that your loved ones will give you during your episode is “ Do not think about yourself alone, think about those you’re hurting with your attitude, blah,blah” This advice will make you desperate and hopeless because they don’t know that you’re trying your best to get out of depression, yet they try to make it feel as if you’re doing it deliberately to hurt them.
- Do not hate yourself when you make a mistake. For a depressed person, a mistake seems over hyped , you begin to over analyse things and feel you’re a loser . What most people fail to know about depressed people is that they are perfectionists who fell into that condition because they feel unable to control the outcome of events to be as perfect as they want it to be. When you make a mistake instead of punishing yourself go ahead and celebrate because you tried to do something and fail as against succeding at doing nothing.
- Do not idolize Kardashians or any Celebrity. Believe me I know better from Whitney Houston to Robin Williams. I know what it is to feel like a celebrity has it all and feel as if you have it none. Well you imagine the shock I felt when I heard about my favorite celebrities death due to drugs and suicide. Now I know that no one have it all so I try to see them as human and I see myself as kindred to them and not inferior.
- Do not go to church or engage in religion or go for motivational classes just to end depression. The people behind the above institution I mentioned are just humans, they can’t help you. I tried Tony Robbins, Joel Osteen , TD Jakes , Bishop Oyedepo, The Secret law of attraction,and all but you know what I discovered? They can only talk from their perspective and since their message is for the masses they might not address my issue and that ends up making me feel as if my case is hopeless. Your case is not hopeless, it is just unique.
- Do not think Quora will help you. You might not believe me here but most people on Quora are depressed. You know one of the not so tell tale and sign of depression is seeking attention. I see people here falsifying information just to get upvotes that makes them feel special from the rest. If you go by how people hype upvotes here you might feel you are a piece of shit when you don’t get upvotes or for being honest . Well do not ever forget that Quora and other social media platform is a virtual world just like the game you play with, so do not take it serious. Instead take your craft serious and one day you will come to respect yourself for doing good even when every one cut corners just to earn ephemeral validation from people.
- Close your Books when you feel Depressed. Yes I graduated with a second class division 7 years ago and I must confess I was one of the top 5 in my class. My depression was my excuse for not getting a first class because I always close my books whenever my mood plunged. I’m glad I did that because in the real world outside school I discovered that all I learned were not as useful as the society made me feel it would be. Now my depression is about why didn’t I shut the book permanently then and pursue what I liked instead of wasting all those years in school. Lesson learned ,do not let School make you a prisoner of a book whose lessons does not matter in real life.
- Do not hate yourself for being depressed. I have burned myself in the past just because the society and all makes a depressed person feel like an asshole , well the spoiler news is that I am the society making so I have no right to make myself feel I made myself like this. A lot of situation that happened before I was born such as mummy trying to kill me in the womb and daddy leaving mummy because she didn’t succeed made my mood right before I was born.(If you doubt this remember how Whitney Houston’s late daughter duplicated her mother’s poor choices just because she was conditioned like that from the womb) Do not hate yourself because you are the society child.Now I have my wife and two children to show I didn’t end up like dad and this is what makes me happy through my darkest depression.
- Do not think depression will be over one day. I am sorry to burst your bubble because once depressed is forever depressed, you can’t end it you just have to learn to work around it like every other human weakness. I used to think oh when I have this depression will end , when I have that depression will end, however nothing ended the depression so now I understand that I have to work around it.
Now to answer your Question what can you do?
Below are 7 things you can do.
- Seek to know what you like best. What do you like to do? What is your favorite moment and what event will make you extremely happy? List your answers and begin to dedicate at least one hour a day to doing it. At this time you might feel playing games is your favorite moment, but I doubt it. You play games because you’re hiding from something that is important to you. Ask yourself this question what productive thing do I love doing than playing games? Tell yourself I will not play a game until I discover it. Imagine yourself giving an advice to a depressed person like you , how will you tell him you over came depression? Your answers is the story you should be actively engaged with instead of playing games.
- Seek a partner that can help you follow through on your commitments. You need a person that can always remind you about your commitments and that person might be who you should give your game to until you discover what you like doing.
- Hack yourself by constantly talking to yourself. It works believe me. I talk to myself in my mind when I’m in public, I talk to myself loudly when I’m alone. I tell myself ‘Afolabi this is what you need to do now’ even if I don’t follow through at times I still talk to myself to remind myself how I can do better next time. Most of the time I write to myself and at times I write out all those dirty thoughts in my mind from suicide to all and I feel ashamed of myself when I read it loud because I feel my life isn’t as worse as I earlier imagined.
- Get medical help if you can afford it ( not too necessary because I have never done that , it scares the shit out of me,I have never used a pill to cure depression too). I live in Nigeria where depression is not a popular topic and you can hardly see any institution that deal with it. So I manage my depression using trial and error method which I feel is more effective.
- Drink green tea, chew on chilli pepper but avoid coffee most times. Green tea helps you get in good mood , keep it by your bedside so that as soon as you wake up you can drink a shot to get you started. Keep a dry chilli pepper handy during the day time and when you are about to feel depressed chew on it and let the spice wake your spirit or warn your mind that depression is peppery.
- Know what time you are at your best . I love working at midnight best and when ever I wake up then I do all my work and wake up later in the morning than others because I slept late. As soon as I’m up I tell myself to let the world move at its pace while I bask in the euphoria of having completed my work in the midnight. We can’t all be day people, so if like a vampire I love midnight why should I be ashamed of it? Learn to find out what time you feel more motivated to work and center all your work energy around that time .
- Go to natural environments. If you like water then go to the beach , if you like animals go to the zoo. Natural environments help you to get away from the pressure of Urban life and you feel at ease with yourself seeing that life is far broader and interesting than the rat race mundane. I am ashamed to say this but sometimes looking at just a bird or squashing a flower in my hand just to perceive its scent makes me feel more motivated and inspired.
Finally just enjoy yourself like you will enjoy a movie whose character you like. See yourself with amusement than disdain. See yourself as a clown than an object of horror.
Some will tell you to exercise , watch your diet , go to doctor ,smell rosemary leaf, some will give you answers from the web with pictures to back it, some will give a one liner just to show you they have it all together, some will say use medication and all things under the sun ,but do what you like as long as you don’t feel worse off afterwards. My acid test is “ as long as I don’t feel more depressed after doing it then it is ideal for me so like Nike slogan I just do it”
Fellow depressed friend I wrote this sitting on the toilet, then to the sitting room floor , then to my room floor , it is Monday here and I’m at home 10: 10am because I woke up depressed after sleeping depressed at half past two in the midnight. Well I’m my boss, well I don’t need to follow the lifestyle of others who are not experiencing my condition .
P.S Well I need to go apologise to my wife for shutting her out since I woke up depressed, she is used to it and lovingly support me since 10 years ago when we first met. This should tell you that depressed people too can find love.
I hope you find love because that’s what matters the most.
in short, excuse my language, because school fucking sucks.
we wake up freakishly early. as teenagers, our brains are literally not ready to think at 7 am. our circadian rhythms are different than adults and little kids, which is why we stay up late and sleep in. We aren’t LAZY, we sleep the same amount, we just do it at a different time. But for school, we are forced to wake up, when our brains are being programmed to sleep more.
We sit in our chairs and listen to someone talk at us for 7 hours straight. What ISNT depressing about that? We’ve had the same school system since the industrial revolution, where kids were basically taught to go into factories. Luckily theres more research coming out about hands-on-learning and stuff like that.
after suffering through the day, we come home, sit at another desk, and do more work for three more hours. We already spent so much time learning stuff, and now we have to do more. Its exhausting, and its impractical.
On top of the physical and academic hardships, we have to deal with the ridiculous amounts of social problems and drama. In high school this improves significantly from middle school, but god if it isn’t still there. Our adolescent minds want one thing – acceptance from our peers. even us “weird” kids want that. People stress about who likes who, who’s friends with who, do enough people like them. and that is horrible in its own right.
School is a terrible system. Learning is fantastic, and I love it, but our current school system is so fucked that instead it literally gives us all clinical depression.
To be quite frank, I am in a similar situation. People who say you will miss school and going to classrooms and learning and seeing your friends are the people whose experience in school wasn’t as bad as yours. Plus they don’t know your full situation. I asked my parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and other relatives if they missed school and only 2 of them answered that they miss their friends which doesn’t necessarily mean they is school… The majority of people don’t miss school so saying that wont encourage anyone to go to school and “enjoy it while it lasts”. Also, because you never know, what if you become successful in life… do you really think you’ll miss going to school then? Probably not. Yes, school is nice if you feel comfortable and have a friend group, you enjoy the environment and overall the system suits you. This doesn’t apply to everyone though. School and an education degree of any sort, even just finishing high school is better than nothing although this doesn’t mean that you need a degree to apply to any job. Most jobs do ask for a degree of some sort that you have finished school, however you can find other that don’t ask for that sort of information. The job may not be the dream job but truly, you can slowly rise in a certain area of any job environment. That’s from family experience. I personally would want to stay in school and still am on my last year, i am dreading the fact of going to it but as long as i finish high school that’s all i need for me to set out what i want to do. I think if you have some sort of goal – ANY GOAL – should help you decide whether or not staying in school is something that is needed. Make sure you take your health into account first… there are also other options for school, online / homeschooling.. maybe its the environment that’s not right for you?
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School sucks…you are not making you own decisions and you are on a schedule and rota that has no grounding in research. You are stuck with people you don’t like. You have to be told what to learn to be judged by someone else. Be strong – when you are out life is far better and more interesting and nothing like school. Best of luck (By the way, I am a school teacher).
When you’re going through hell, keep going.
School was an absolute hell for me and for many others; it may get better once you get through that, which is little consolation while you’re still there.
Don’t give up. Or, give up, but get back up and just keep going. It’s okay to feel awful, too.
Does anything make you happy? If so, try to do more of what you enjoy. Is everything awesome around you, and you’re just miserable for no apparent reason? You might be depressed, which is totally normal in a way, because this is a miserable depressing world to grow up in, in lots of ways. Accept how you feel, because it’s okay. Try to take care of you. Breathe, just breathe. Seriously, if you feel like you can’t do it anymore, breathe, and you’ll relax a little. Smile a little, even if you feel horrible, and you’ll feel better for a while. I’m not saying to deny the darkness of the world or of the school system, as they’re pretty dark, but don’t get lost in it. Hang in there. Drop me a line, if you like.
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School was engineered to destroy children.
Over the centuries, the need of the rich for a compliant work force, the need of governments for a submissive populace, the fear of freedom of.the masses by our rulers, and the sheer hatred of children by those in power have formed what schools are today.
Prisons, Victorian factories, and sweat shops are what schools are modeled after. In the USA, it’s known as the Prussian model.
Obey. Conform. Consume. These are the core teachings.
It was the little things that made it unbearable. Sitting confined in those desks, unable to stand or move around until the next buzzer sounded, usually in 1 hour blocks .
The fact that the lesson had only 5 minutes of material but that so-called “teacher” dragged it out to a full hour was utterly belittling.
The smells-of cheap cologne and perfume, the sweat of anxiety, vomit, dog-food grade meals.
The sheer meanness of the bullies, student and teacher alike.
The ignorance and stupidity of some of the teachers — one admitted she had never read a book in her life.
My only escape was to read books during class. I would keep it hidden behind the kid in front of me. If I could not read, I would thinkabout better places or look out the window. Anything to distract.
I got stright As.
“I want a nation of workers [slaves], not thinkers.” Henry Ford, American industrialist, designer of schools.
School was engineered to destroy children. By design, school strangles the human spirit. Its products are one of two: broken adults or mindless robots.
Over the centuries, the need of the rich for a compliant work force, the need of governments for a submissive populace, the fear of freedom of.the masses by our rulers, and the sheer hatred of children by those in power have formed what schools are today.
Prisons, Victorian factories, and sweat shops are what schools are modeled after. In the USA, it’s known as the Prussian model.
Obey. Conform. Consume. These are the core teachings.
It was the little things that made it unbearable. Sitting confined in those desks, unable to stand or move around until the next buzzer sounded, usually in 1 hour blocks .
The fact that the lesson had only 5 minutes of material but that so-called “teacher” dragged it out to a full hour was utterly belittling.
The smells-of cheap cologne and perfume, the sweat of anxiety, vomit, dog-food grade meals.
The sheer meanness of the bullies, student and teacher alike.
The ignorance and stupidity of some of the teachers — one admitted she had never read a book in her life.
My only escape was to read books during class. I would keep it hidden behind the kid in front of me. If I could not read, I would thinkabout better places or look out the window. Anything to distract.
I got stright As.
“I want a nation of workers [slaves], not thinkers.” Henry Ford, American industrialist, designer of schools.
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